It's not always easy to talk about my feelings. Things have been rough at work now for quite some time, like years. I only actually knew about half of it. So when we (6 women) were forced to sit down and get it all out and say everything we needed and wanted to say, it was rough. Rough to say the least. As horrid as it was to admit all my faults and apologize for things I had done, it lifted so much pain to hear words I have needed to hear for so long.
Bridges that I thought were burned beyond recognition, may not be. They are being mended. Slowly. One day at a time. And I am thankful for these relationships that I may get back.
Yes, I was hurt. Yes, I hurt others. It all makes me so leery of even talking to people now. I feel much safer in my classroom, alone. I don't really feel like I have friends at work anymore. I think that's okay, just not how I am used to it being. I will adjust.
I'm not at work to be with friends. I'm at work to teach Kindergarten. 19 children walk through my door every morning with a smile on their face and arms ready to hug. I'm there for them and that is all.
I have been struggling with this for awhile and I needed to get some of it out. Sorry if it's all over the place.